Dane Cook makes me vomit

I think the title of this post is quite self-explanatory. Nevertheless, you might ask, "why after months of images and not much else, would you choose to write on a stand-up comedian, who seems to be at the last thirty seconds of his fifteen minutes?" Well, it's pretty simple...because of the geniuses at the Fox network, October baseball, only the best time of year, has now become synonymous with the obnoxiousness that is Dane Cook.

In a few weeks, instead of kicking back every night with a nice cold beverage, turning on the TV, and gorging myself on eminently watchable and entertaining baseball, I am going to have to grit my teeth and accept the fact that this preening jerk, who's funniest bits occurred on a Comedy Central half hour ten years ago, will be jawing at me during every commercial break. What the hell were these people thinking? The NFL had Don Cheadle revisiting fantastic playoff moments. Baseball had the enjoyable "I live for this" campaigns. Now they follow it up with the star of such radiant box office successes as "Employee of the Month" and "Good Luck Chuck." Let's also not forget the fact that Cook also co-starred with Dennis Rodman. I can feel the bile rising in my throat right now.

Just to give us baseball fans a taste of what might be coming down the line, Fox let Cook into the booth at Fenway during the Yankees-Red Sox game yesterday. A pitcher's duel immediately became unwatchable. The Yankees immediately gave up a bunch of runs, as if they could feel the disruption in the universe. Maybe I'm being unkind. Maybe Dane Cook doesn't suck that much (despite Tourgasm being evidence to the contrary). But personally, I am going to be listening to the postseason on radio and muting the TV as much as possible. So well done, Fox, you have alienated one of baseball's most avid fans. I can only hope you hire Gilbert Godfried and Britney Spears to pimp the NFL playoffs. My fingers are already crossed.